A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
Steven Wright
A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore.
Yogi Berra
A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.
Bill Cosby
Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
Groucho Marx
All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.
Casey Stengel
Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.
Bill Cosby
Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.
Hedy Lamarr
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
Groucho Marx
As I get older, I just prefer to knit.
Tracey Ullman
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
Mae West
Brought up to respect the conventions, love had to end in marriage. I'm afraid it did.
Bette Davis
By trying we can easily endure adversity. Another man's, I mean.
Mark Twain
California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.
Fred Allen
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